DISCOURAGEMENT

OK, yes, I've been a definite slacker lately. You've probably
been wondering where I've been. Well, I'll be honest with you --
I was wallowing in depression and low self-esteem.

TMI? Perhaps. But it kind of feels good to say (type). I
usually keep it all bottled up.

But if I've learned anything on this journey, it's that I am not
alone. I am not alone in how I feel about food or exercise, and
I am not alone in ANY of my feelings, including feeling bad when
I think I am failing.

However, I've decided by watching the world, that those who
"succeed" end up "failing" a lot along the way. The difference
between "winners" and "losers" is that the winners don't give up,
and the losers do.

Take Milton Hershey (of chocolate fame). He's earned and lost
more money than most of us dream of. He's had huge successes
and deep failures.
( http://www.ideafinder.com/history/inventors/hershey.htm )
But he kept trying and eventually succeeded...in a major, major
way!

So now I think about myself and my weight loss effort. I lost 6
pounds last month on Sensa. This month, not so good. I gained
some back, lost it, gained it back. I was sad and felt like a
horrible, weak person. But I kept trying. Now I am at -2 for
this month (with 9 more days to go). Not what I wanted, but
still negative, so I am going to take it and do my best NOT to be
discouraged.

And I am going to fully admit to myself (and you) that it has
been a lot harder this month. I feel like I am working so hard
to watch what I eat and not really getting the corresponding
benefit.

But there could be a lot of reasons for this. One being that I
do feel as if I am eating more than last month. One being that
you are always going to lose some at first because you are going
from no diet to SOME diet. One being that through the trials,
women tended to lose most of the weight later (after 3 full
months on the plan) rather than earlier in the plan.

But now we are going to start thinking more positively.
I am still eating LESS than I used to. I am still sticking with
this. And I am going to KEEP sticking with this. I made the
commitment for the full 6 months and I am going to keep it up.

In any case, it's not really worth giving up yet, is it? I'd
probably just go try another diet and it wouldn't work any
better. [How's that for reinforcement? ;-) ]

Back on track and learning control

OK, a few days of being more careful and I am pretty much back on
track! It's been 40 days and I am net negative 6. Not too shabby.

Especially since last night my husband made me go eat at that yummy
place with the GI-NORMOUS salad, soup, bread, and dessert bar.

Everything there is homemade and so luscious. I ate way too much
(although less than I used to). And then I yelled at him for insisting
we go there (it's his favorite restaurant). How am I supposed to
stay on track when he throws that kind of temptation in front of me?

But after I thought about it a bit, I realized something. This change
I am trying for has to come from within. I have to be able to resist.
I have to be strong in the face of adversity. (Not just in my eating,
either!)

If I can't control myself in this situation, how am I ever going to
stop myself from eating under the pressure of friends? Especially when
they make their own delicious specialties? Karen's cheesy sausage dip!
Kathy's Layered Taco dip! Shelly's homemade cheesecake!

After all, my husband isn't sitting there saying "Have some more...I
made it special! It took hours!" I need to practice control when it's
easier!

Thank goodness Sensa is helping so much. I really do feel full faster.
And when I overeat, I am almost sick to my stomach. Sounds silly, but
it really helps. Even I (with my horrible memory) am getting the hang
of it and eating less.

I will say that Month 1 of Sensa seemed more effective for me than
month 2. Although, looking at the chat boards and such, it appears as
if some people prefer month 2. In any case, this is a process and we
are all in it together.

And when the rest of the world catches on, we'll be the wise and
knowledgeable sages of Sensa!

Trying not to panic

OK, I have now officially gained two pounds this month.
Scary!!

I've been spending time on some chat rooms and I know that
can happen with Sensa. There were several people who gained
weight the first month and lost it the second. I am still
net negative. And I guess I have to be patient. (I guess
doing some exercise wouldn't hurt, either!)

But it is very hard to keep a positive outlook. Of course,
it's that way with any diet plan, isn't it? There are ups
and downs. The hard part is always sticking it out until
you see results. At least with Sensa, I got to see some
really early.

I can do this. We can do this!

Two pounds...heck...that could be anything! I'll bet it's
gone by the end of the week.

In case you are having the same issue, here are some great
ideas I've gotten from various people:

1. Use MORE sensa on your food!
2. Drink more water
3. Go for a walk...or a swim.
4. RELAX...just be patient!
5. Find something to distract yourself from the idea of
weight loss. Take up a hobby. Do something fun with your
child(ren). Sometimes weight loss can happen when you least
expect it!

And most of all...keep your spirits up!!! Whatever is going
on, it won't get any better simply by worrying about it!

Rewards

I recently destroyed my cell phone. I was really upset about it, too.
Well, until I realized that I was eligible for a free phone (with a 2
year renewal to my service contract)

Long story short, here I sit with a gorgeous pink phone that doubles
as an MP3 player! A tiny card that slides into a convenient slot is
holding a bunch of fantastic songs I like, and a small earpiece is
sitting in my right ear, allowing me to listen "handsfree."

I haven't this much fun with music since I was in high school!

I spent a good part of this evening setting it up, playing around,
transferring songs. And didn't snack at all!!!

I tend to forget about that. I've rewarded myself with food so often,
that I forget there are millions of other pleasures in this world that
can easily substitute for that fantastic rush that food can give us.
For me, it needs to be something more in the category of "instant
gratification." I don't have the patience for all that "Nothing tastes
as good as thin feels" nonsense. The coconut cream pie is here NOW,
darn it! Those size 6 jeans are much, much further away!

Most of my rewards require spending money. New things are always nice.
And shopping is a fantastic mood booster for some of us! I also
like to get a massage or get my nails done.

But I do have a few rewards that don't require much money. I like to
see movies with my friends. I like to be play hooky from work and hang
out with my daughter on a warm summer day. But I could use some more
ideas.

There is a spot at the bottom here for comments...why don't you guys
let us all know your best suggestions?

Until then, I'm just going to enjoy my music...maybe I'll even dance a
little!

STARVING!

Hunger is an multi-leveled thing. I mean, there are TRULY hungry people in the
world. People that will consider themselves lucky to have a bowl of rice today.

But where I live, people generally have plenty to eat, in fact too much.

I, for one, used to think about food all the time. I love food! And I would plan
my day around it. I would start thinking, gee, I am starting to get hungry. What
shall I eat?

But Sensa has created this new sort of situation for me. Much better, to be sure,
but there are negatives.

I don't think about food in between meals now. I am satisfied with my meals and
my brain recognizes this. I don't really snack anymore.

But what used to be a gradual recognition of hunger has now become a strange jolt
of awareness. In about 2 seconds, I can go from not thinking at all about food to
being RAVENOUSLY hungry! It's kind of strange and tough to get used to.

I am starting to notice a general timeframe for it to happen, so perhaps I can get
used to the idea that I should start preparing food to be ready at certain times,
knowing that I will be hungry.

I don't really want to eat before I am hungry. All the diet plans tell you to
wait until you feel actual hunger pangs before you eat. I always knew I was
SUPPOSED to do that. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it before.

Feeling (a little) hungry is actually kind of neat. I rarely used to let myself
get to that point before eating. It feels so nice to feel like my body and brain
are finally in sync. And I feel SO MUCH less guilt eating when other people can
actually hear the rumbling!!

Mmmm...sorry, I am definitely going to have to go eat now!! ;-) (Don't worry, I
will be sure to sprinkle Sensa on it first!)

What a feeling!

Even though this is only my third blog post, it is actually the 32nd day of my new
SENSAtional life. Oh, now I feel like I've cheated you! Let me catch you up.

I started Sensa on July 1st. I got the package a few days before and had to control
myself from trying it right away. It's always like that with a new diet plan. I
jump in with both feet. Remove bad food from the house, prepare the
calorie/carb/etc counting notebook, read the plan thoroughly, and warn my loved
ones. I look myself in the mirror and say "it's really going to work this time!"

When I finally did start, though, I had a lot of questions. How much should I sprinkle? Is this tiny little container REALLY going to last all month? Should I let my daughter taste it (she keeps begging)?

But most importantly, how can this possibly work?!? I am still eating the good
stuff. And it pretty much tastes the same. How can it be working?

If you are fortunate (like me), you will notice the difference right after your
first Sensa-enhanced meal. What is that feeling?! It's like I just ate at the
all-you-can-eat buffet! (You might have to give it a few minutes) How could I
actually be full on such a previously tiny amount of food?

Well, I have a theory. I think that over the years I trained my brain to stay out
of my stomach. Seriously! I think with all the various trials and tribulations
that life puts us through, I think I convinced my brain to allow me that one
outlet...that one free pass. Do what you may with my heart, my emotions, and the
rest of my body! Make me fall in and out of love, make me deliriously happy and
crushingly sad, make me love and hate my job, make me feel smart and make me feel
stupid. But always, ALWAYS leave the stomach out of it! If I am happy and with my
friends, I want to eat fun fried appetizers and drink sugary alcoholic concoctions!
If I am sad and lonely, I want to feel the warmth of a big platter of chicken and
dumplings or the cool, sweet surrender of a big bowl of ice cream! Food is my
refuge! Don't tell me when I am full...I am full when my emotions are under
control!

But just when you think they are, you start to think about everything you ate and
you become even MORE unsatified. It's a cruel and vicious cycle and it needs to
stop! But how? It's all I know anymore! It works (sort of)...it gets me through
life. But that's just not good enough.

And if you try to change it, your body (which is very adaptable, but can't do it
quickly), fights you. You get dizzy and weak. You get even more depressed. You
become miserable to the ones you love. Then, inevitably, you cheat. And then you
feel guilty. Vicious, vicious cycle.

But then I tried Sensa!!!! The first time I tried it, I sprinkled it over my food and completely ate exactly what I would have. After about 15 minutes, I almost felt SICK I was so full! I
literally felt like I had eaten from a buffet, and it was a normal sized (for me) meal!

What an amazing feeling! It's like something was "off" in my brain, and Sensa switched it back "on". Is this how normal-weight people feel?

Since then I have been gently reducing the portions (I don't want to feel that sick
again). And not missing it AT ALL. Honestly! It's amazing!

And I just did my one month weigh-in...I lost 6 pounds this first month. Oh, yeah.
It's going to work this time. :-))